What the ER nurse really thinks
A fellow nurse gave me this list. When I read it I thought, "Who has been inside my head at work." I got a chuckle out of it. I don't know the origin but whoever came up with this must be a Registered Nurse with some experience in the emergency room. Read these and you will have an insight into my mind when I am on duty in the ER (at times).
1. Don't tell me you have abdominal pain as you eat Doritos's in my triage room.
2. If you come in to the ER by ambulance, the first thing that I will ask you is how you are getting home. No, we don't have people on staff to drive you home, and don't tell me you don't want to "bother" one of your family members at this hour. You had no problem bothering 911 for the back pain you've had for 3 months.
3. You don't get to pick your own IV site. This will irritate me and I will probably miss your IV on purpose and start your IV in the place I wanted to initially to prove a point.
4. "Butterfly" is not an IV size, this word signals me to put in a larger bore needle.
5. Nausea is not a reason to come to the ER. If you are not in severe pain, are not vomiting or pooping your pants in front of me, you go back to the waiting room.
6. How can you have the worst migraine of our life, but be able to yell at me about the wait after you just put down a magazine you were reading.
7. Don't ever say things like, "I usually get 4 milligrams of Dilaudid." Requesting your med and dosage will prompt me to squirt out half of the medication before I inject, and then lie about the dose.
8. If you are allergic to Tylenol, Toradol, and Motrin, I have already assumed that you are a drug seeker.
9. If you came to the ER having a family doctor appointment that same day, I will make sure that you are still in the department well past the time of your original appointment.
10. The louder you whine, the bigger size IV needle you get.
ll. Foley catheters cure pseudo-seizures. They also cure intoxicated people.
12. RN is not synonymous with waiter/waitress.
13. Don't fuss about missing breakfast when I'm on the ninth hour of my shift and haven't peed yet.
14. Broken toes are not an emergency. We'll make you feel stupid by putting a piece of tape there and kicking you out.
15. I am currently inventing a trap door system in triage to be triggered when you say the word "toothache."
16. If you list Haldol, Geodon, Xanax, Trazadone, and Ativan as allergies, don't tell me you have no psych history.
17. Although you've been in the ER four times this week, we cannot list the ER doctor as your family physician.
18. Don't tell me you have no money for medicine while you have a carton of cigarettes in your purse (next to your cell phone) and each of your seven children are playing their own PSP's.
19. Don't come in the RE by ambulance complaining of nausea, vomiting and diarrhea for 4 days and the first thing out of your mouth is that you are hungry and "Could I have a sandwich?"
These are just a few things that go through our minds as we deal with puny complaints. What really ticks me off is when we really have something serious come in - like a code, respiratory distress, etc (you know like a LIFE THREATENING incidence) and some drug seeker gets bent out of shape because they have to WAIT while we attempt to SAVE A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! Then they demand to see the supervisor to report you because you haven't been attentive to them.
I just keep telling myself that, "I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB."
1. Don't tell me you have abdominal pain as you eat Doritos's in my triage room.
2. If you come in to the ER by ambulance, the first thing that I will ask you is how you are getting home. No, we don't have people on staff to drive you home, and don't tell me you don't want to "bother" one of your family members at this hour. You had no problem bothering 911 for the back pain you've had for 3 months.
3. You don't get to pick your own IV site. This will irritate me and I will probably miss your IV on purpose and start your IV in the place I wanted to initially to prove a point.
4. "Butterfly" is not an IV size, this word signals me to put in a larger bore needle.
5. Nausea is not a reason to come to the ER. If you are not in severe pain, are not vomiting or pooping your pants in front of me, you go back to the waiting room.
6. How can you have the worst migraine of our life, but be able to yell at me about the wait after you just put down a magazine you were reading.
7. Don't ever say things like, "I usually get 4 milligrams of Dilaudid." Requesting your med and dosage will prompt me to squirt out half of the medication before I inject, and then lie about the dose.
8. If you are allergic to Tylenol, Toradol, and Motrin, I have already assumed that you are a drug seeker.
9. If you came to the ER having a family doctor appointment that same day, I will make sure that you are still in the department well past the time of your original appointment.
10. The louder you whine, the bigger size IV needle you get.
ll. Foley catheters cure pseudo-seizures. They also cure intoxicated people.
12. RN is not synonymous with waiter/waitress.
13. Don't fuss about missing breakfast when I'm on the ninth hour of my shift and haven't peed yet.
14. Broken toes are not an emergency. We'll make you feel stupid by putting a piece of tape there and kicking you out.
15. I am currently inventing a trap door system in triage to be triggered when you say the word "toothache."
16. If you list Haldol, Geodon, Xanax, Trazadone, and Ativan as allergies, don't tell me you have no psych history.
17. Although you've been in the ER four times this week, we cannot list the ER doctor as your family physician.
18. Don't tell me you have no money for medicine while you have a carton of cigarettes in your purse (next to your cell phone) and each of your seven children are playing their own PSP's.
19. Don't come in the RE by ambulance complaining of nausea, vomiting and diarrhea for 4 days and the first thing out of your mouth is that you are hungry and "Could I have a sandwich?"
These are just a few things that go through our minds as we deal with puny complaints. What really ticks me off is when we really have something serious come in - like a code, respiratory distress, etc (you know like a LIFE THREATENING incidence) and some drug seeker gets bent out of shape because they have to WAIT while we attempt to SAVE A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! Then they demand to see the supervisor to report you because you haven't been attentive to them.
I just keep telling myself that, "I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB."
posted by Three C Farm at
6:52 PM
1 Comments:
Wait just a dog-gone minute! When I went to the ER after dropping a 16' long 4x8 on my toes (blowing the end out of the big toe and breaking the two beside it), I thought that was an emergency! I know I've never been in as much pain in my life and whatever the doctor gave me for the pain was worth the trip to the ER. However, in the end, my toes were taped together and I was sent home. So your point is well taken. I'll just go have me some of those meds you listed that I can't pronounce and go to bed.
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