Update

Maddie and her "plane" like Daddy
Maddie's 1st birthday cake

Maddie feeding Mom some of her cake
Feeding Daddy some cake

We went to court yesterday and were expecting to have the custody of Hannah reversed to Tara. Didn't happen. Buddy has now come up with another fictitious charge against her. We now have a trial date of September 27 and 28. Full trial with witnesses, etc. We still have Hannah every weekend, so that didn't change.

I hope the DHR agencies in you areas are more efficient than here. As said before, they messed up at the beginning of this thing by giving Hannah to Buddy's daughter without any investigation. They cleared me to be Tara's supervisor when Hannah is here. They were to be getting Mike cleared so I wouldn't have to miss work on the weekends we had her and I was working. They didn't. So, two weekends ago, we spend 4 days trying to get an answer from them about Mike's clearance. A few hours before I was to pick Hannah up from school, I finally talked to a person instead of an answering machine. I was told they were still working on this. I reminded them I was working that weekend. I was basically told that if I went to work Saturday, I would have to take Hannah back to Delilah's. There was no way I was cutting Tara's weekend short with her baby. I got a couple of nurses to cover my shift and I didn't work Sat. DHR had not said a thing about Sunday, so after worship, I went to work. Mike came and picked me up to take Hannah home. On the way, a few blocks from the hospital, an 18 wheeler made a right hand turn from a left lane and into us. We were thrown into another 18 wheeler headon. My car was totaled. Tara and I sustained some injuries, but are basically ok. The kids and Mike were upset but ok.

Now, we are dealing with this farce of a court case, a national trucking firm that wants to shaft me, and an injury that will take about 6 weeks to heal (and the aggravation of it). As they used to say on Hee-Haw, if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

On a good note: we celebrated Maddie's 1st birthday. A FROG party. Pictures say it all. Maddie is beginning to talk. She says Da-da, Ma-ma, Bye-bye and will throw kisses and the cutest of all (that I haven't captured yet) raising her hand in praise.

More later - got to go to work!

A Death being a Blessing

My Mom always said my dad's death was the catalyst that sent me into nursing. I did not understand the disease Dad had. The nurses at the hospital tried to explain it to us. They gave us information to read. I looked up things on the Internet and at the library. What I found stated that the type cancer dad had was generally one that elderly black men had. I couldn't understand why my dad at 59 had this. I told Mom at his bedside that I was going to change my major to nursing. We had always had a nurse in the family (my grandmother's baby sister, and Mom's sister) both deceased. The only other nurse was Betty (mentioned previously). She and my brother were divorced. I felt, with Mom getting older and the children in the family, that there needed to be a medical person in the family.

I changed my major to nursing and spent 3 more years in college. The total amount of time spent in college, I could have been a doctor. Actually once, mom asked me why I didn't get my doctorate and have a higher degree than Greg and join the armed forces and outrank Alan. It was tempting to outrank Alan so he would have to salute me. I have never been one to obey strict rules, so I didn't think I would make it in the service (besides, I had tw0 teens at home).

Mom wrote a poem and gave it to me the day I graduated from college with my BSN. I would like to share it:

The day did finally arrive,
And, believe it or not,
You're still alive!
We're all here to share with you
A goal accomplished, a dream come true.

You've scaled a high mountain
Avoiding a fall,
Though at times you wondered
"Is it really worth it all?"

Hours of study were oh! so long;
Stress enough to break the strong.
But you, my daughter, had the will to succeed,
And today is proof indeed.

Ironically, Dad's illness was your inspiration,
And today we all shared in your graduation.
With pride and joy and even a few tears,
We wish you success through the coming years.

May God bless you every step of the way,
As you bring to your patients a brighter day,
A smile, a hug, an understanding ear.
AN ANGEL OF MERCY - that's you, my dear.

Love and congratulations, Mom


I don't know if I have brought my patients a brighter day but I have been rewarded by my patients. I had a man and his wife stop me in the hall a few weeks back. He said, "You were my nurse when I was in the emergency room and it was you who saved my life." I didn't remember him at first (imagine the numbers of people that come through the ER and try to remember them all). As they were talking I did remember him. He was having chest pain and as I was preparing some medicine to give him, he went chalky-grey and drenching wet, and his blood pressure bottomed out. I yelled for the doctor to get in the room immediately (actually my words were "NOW"). I flipped him into trendelenburg (head down and feet up - helps with the blood pressure), turned his fluids up. He was having an acute MI (heart attack). We got him stabilized and out the door to a facility with a cath lab.

This past Sunday, a man came up to me in church and hugged me thanking me. I asked what for. He said for being there for him and his family when his mother-in-law was brought into the ER. I told him he was welcome - just doing my job. He said, "No you do more than your job." These affirmations and the help Mom says I was to her make the long hours at work and the grueling hours in college all worthwhile. I feel and have always felt to be a nurse had to be a calling from God and I for one, am so glad He called me, even if it was Dad's death that initiated the need in my heart to become a nurse. There are times when we nurses feel totally unappreciated and at times abused. So it is a great feeling when some appreciation comes our way. But, even if it never came, I would still choose to be a nurse!

My Dad

August 14th was Dad's birthday. If he had lived, he would be 80 today. He has been gone since 1989. One would think that time would heal the missing. It has dulled it some but I don't think it will ever go away.

I was the only girl of 4 children. You would think I would have been the daddy's girl. I wasn't. The pride of his eye was the baby, Rex. Dad was a hard person to get to know. I don't remember my dad until I was in the second grade. We moved from Sheffield, Al to Meridian, Miss. We weren't there long until Dad took a job in Florida. So, we had to finish the school year before we could join him there. At that time it was Alan, me and Greg.

The next 6 1/2 years Dad was around most of the time. He was in construction and his jobs took him out of town a lot. When I was in the 9th grade, Dad moved to Montgomery, Al. We followed that summer. We stayed there until Rex was in the 8th grade (I think). Mom and Dad moved to the Birmingham area (actually Springville, Al.) I moved to the Trussville area shortly after. We moved to Springville shortly after I found out I was expecting Tara. We had many wonderful times while living there. I think that is when mine and Dad's relationship actually started blossoming. I know it grew after the birth of Teri. She was Dad's baby from the very start (they adored each other). We all moved to north Alabama when the girls were in early elementary. I moved back to the Birmingham area a year later with my family but Mom and Dad remained in north Ala.

Dad had a bad back for as long as I can remember. He had degenerative disc disease. He had been told he should have back surgery but he refused. I can remember, when I was in high school, he would come home and the boys would take his legs, Mom and me his shoulders and pull on him to get his back straight enough and free of pain enough for him to get to sleep and to the chiropractor the next day. So, when he started having severe pain in his back to the point he could barely move, he thought it was just a worsening of what he had dealt with for many years.

I'll never forget the day I got a call from Mom telling me she and Dad were at Rex's. Dad was in severe pain and she had brought him down in hopes that some of Betty's (Rex's ex-wife) connections at Brookwood Hospital would help find out what was wrong (I had not gone to college at the time to become an RN). Betty was the lead surgical nurse for Dr. Swede, a well know neuro surgeon. She got Dad in to see him. Dad was referred to an orthopedic surgeon. It was Dr. Bryant who discovered the cancer (multiple myeloma - a cancer of the plasma of the blood). Dad lived 2 years after the diagnosis. We think he had a fear of this and that's the reason he wouldn't go to a doctor before this. There is no cure for this type of cancer and the prognosis is generally 5-7 years. We suspect Dad had it about 5 years total.

It was actually during the last 2 years of Dad's life that our relationship matured. Dad would come by the house on his way to Atlanta on Sunday afternoon and sometimes on Friday evenings on his way home to Sheffield. It wasn't necessarily to see me. It was to see Teri. Mom told me after Dad's death that he had said he stopped by to see Teri because an hour with her was better than any pain pill he could take. For anyone who has spent time with Teri, you know exactly why she was so good for Dad. One can't be around her for any length of time with laughing. She has one of the cutest personalities.

I was in college working on a teaching degree. I got a call from Mom one day that she and Dad were at Brookwood to see the oncologist if I wanted to come over to visit. I will NEVER forget that day. I got there just as they were taking Dad to the exam room. I had not seen Dad for awhile. He was thin and "old" looking and in a wheelchair. My big strong dad in a wheelchair. That in itself was almost too much to take. Dr. Hankins came in and told dad that he needed to be put in the hospital for pain control with IV morphine. Mom was in the room but Dad turned to me, grabbed me around the waist, laid his head on my chest and cried like a baby. I had never seen or heard my dad cry. It broke my heart. It took mom and me both to convince him to be admitted to the hospital. He knew if he went in, he would not come out alive and he didn't. He spent 5 weeks in the hospital before he passed away. I went over every day and we had many discussions about many things.

There have been times that my eldest brother and Greg have mentioned they wish they had gotten to know Dad more intimately. I had just a short time to develop a relationship with him but I am so thankful for the short time. Dad was always special to me even as a little girl when I didn't even know him. Mom says I kept a picture of him by my bed (I took it from her - it's the one on my mantel now).

So Happy Birthday Daddy. I don't think I will ever completely stop missing you.

Love always, Cisy

A Great Weekend

I did get Hannah Friday, no problems encountered. We had a wonderful weekend. Nan's birthday is this Saturday, but I have to work, so we celebrated this weekend. I made her cake (it was to be Cinderella) she was looking through my cake pans and decided she wanted a horse. I baked the cake and thought she had gone to bed. The cake had just cooled enough for me to take it out of the pan and start decorating it (around 10 PM) when I heard little feet coming toward the kitchen. Hannah popped in and said, "I'm ready to decorate my cake." We iced, and decorated her cake. She would dip her knife into the icing, take a lick and spread on the cake. Then she took sprinkles and put them all over the cake. She had a sheet of letters and numbers for spelling out "Happy Birthday" and she put ALL of them all over the cake. I had bought her a "4" birthday candle. That was put on the cake along with a box of 24 colored candles. When she got through, she said, "That's enough, I'm done. Isn't it pretty?". She was so proud of her cake. We had family over after worship, ate dinner, had birthday cake and homemade ice cream (pink) and played in the pool. Hannah had a great time and didn't want to go back to Delilah's.

We got to keep Nan until Sunday evening. We all took her back and that was the hardest thing I've had to do so far. It tore Tara up for Delilah to come out to the car and get Nan as if she were her child and she had just been with us for a weekend visit. To let Hannah go back broke Tara's heart. Just a little while longer and all this will be over.

On a lighter note, as a grandmother, I did my job. I started a tradition when Hannah was born. On each birthday, so the other child didn't get their feelings hurt, I would get the other grandchild a gift or two. Now I have 3. So on Hannah's birthday (or at least the day we celebrated), she was the star and got the most gifts. The other two got gifts also. In two weeks we will celebrate Maddie's 1st birthday. She will be the star, but the other two get gifts also. This will end as they get older. It is about time for it to stop for Haley anyway, she is already 9.

I want to thank all of you for your continued support and prayers. We have felt them through the working of God. We will never be able to thank you enough for keeping us before His throne. We love you all.

Update and PRAISING GOD

I have seen God working in all of the events in mine and my daughters lives over the past couple of months. Again, I heard a song about Abraham's faith and his giving Isaac. It got to me and I begged God to not require Hannah of us (this was a while back). I realize now His answer was, Yes I will require her of you and then you can watch Me bring her back to you. I can see this test of faith bringing Tara and me much closer to God. The peace I got after examining myself (after the last blog) has been wonderful. I still get aggravated at some things Buddy continues to do especially when it directly affects Tara or Hannah (that's the she-tiger in me).
I am praying for control over that (especially the feelings that I wish Buddy would just die).

Tara and Buddy had a meeting with DHR this past Tuesday. Tara asked her lawyer to attend. It was a very profitable meeting for Tara, even tho Buddy showed his true colors. Given enough time and rope he will succeed in hanging himself. The outcome, we get Hannah EVERY weekend. Right now, I am the only one who has been approved to pick Hannah up from school on Friday. We get to keep her until after worship Sunday night. I asked Tara to make sure DHR let Delilah know that we get Hannah even if she is sick! Guess what! Today Tara gets a call from Delilah and Hannah didn't go to school. Our first weekend to get her and they are trying to keep her from us. Tara has a call in to her lawyer, but DHR has said we get her regardless. So I will go over there, if I have to and get her. DHR said it won't be too much longer that we have to abide by these ridiculous rules.

Tara got a notification yesterday that she has another court hearing August 27th. We are not sure what this is about. Maybe the judge wants to find out how things have been going. I hope Tara's lawyer lets him know that since he (the judge) ordered DHR into this matter that Tara has only gotten to see Hannah once, while Buddy has seen her every day. I hope this really ticks the judge off and he gives Hannah to us. The date for the trial is set for October 29th. Maybe the judge will change this also.

At any rate, God is in control of it all and we will wait on Him and all will be accomplished in such a way that Buddy will be finished. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking the talk, not walking the walk

I have heard that expression all my life in connection with ones walk with God. Basically ignored it as a kid. Didn't do either most of my adult life. I have tried to talk and walk in the will of God my last few years. Lately, I find myself talking but not walking.

The stress of the last couple of months has gotten to me. In my deepest being, I know God is in complete con troll of the situation (the custody of Hannah, her safety, etc). As a mother who is watching her daughter suffer and a grandmother who is desperately missing her grandchild, I have acted as if I have no faith in that control. I have let Satan - through Buddy - get to me. My language, anger and frustration have not been that of a Christian who is trusting in her Lord. Why we do that? I think in my whole life I have known 2 or 3 people who don't act that way. One is my sister-in-law, Janice England and the other was my grandmother Mitchell. Even my mom, with her deep faith and trust in God, let things get to her to the point I find myself today. I have had to ask forgiveness of God and Mike (my husband). Bless him, he has born the brunt of my frustration and aggravation.

I was talking to Teri earlier and I told her I didn't want to be the "Achan" of our family with my actions. I sure don't want doubt, lack of faith, whatever, to be the cause of this thing being dragged on longer. I feel I am the one being tested and I lost that test yesterday. I have said many a prayer since then for forgiveness and more strength, patience (maybe that is what I should NOT ask for) and better control of my tongue.

I talked with the lawyer this morning and was told this is going to seem to be a very long and drawn out matter and could, and probably will, get much nastier before it is over (mainly because of Buddy's actions). I ask for continued prayers on Tara, Haley and Hannah's behalf.

Remembering

August 2, 1924 Muriel Stuart Mitchell was born. She was better known as "Hitty" to her brothers and sisters, "Muz" to her grandchildren and Mama to her kids. Today she would have been 83. It is really hard to believe she has been gone two years.

Mama was my best friend in the truest sense of the word. She was there for me even when I pushed her away. She quietly waited for me to come back as she prayed her heart out. This wasn't for me only. She was there like this for all 4 of us kids and our mates, all her greats and grands and anyone who was her friend or who just needed her. She gave so much of herself and felt at times that it was not enough or was totally unappreciated. She considered herself totally useless at times (don't we all) and without any talents. She had imagination, artistic talent. She could sew anything, even making her own patterns at times. She had taken cake decorating classes once when we lived in Montgomery and got really good at it. She loved to experiment with recipes. I think that was one of the things she missed most when Dad passed away. She used to tell me, "I am so glad you came to see me, I have a new recipe I want to try." Most of them were pretty good. When I wasn't available, she would try them out on her church family. If they were good, she would admit she had brought it.

Mom loved to laugh, to sing, to be with her family. She was happiest when her kids were all together and laughing at each other (mostly the boys laughing or making fun of me). She was the foundation that held the family together, such as it was. She made me promise to keep the family together after she died. I tried for awhile, but that is hard to do when no one responds to the attempts. Sorry Mom.

I just wanted to say "Happy Birthday" Mama and I sure do miss you. Can hardly wait to be with you again. Cis

The Lighter Side

I try to wash a load of clothes every day or so to keep ahead of the dirty clothes. I sometimes put these in before I go to work. Tara takes them out and puts them in the dryer when she gets home.

I had a lot of washing to do a few weeks back when the camper was invaded by ants. After spraying the camper, I took all the bedding and bath things into the house to wash (I had to spray everywhere - it was infested with the little black ants). I put a load of blankets in the wash that day. Ta took them out and a mouse dropped on her clothes on the top of the dryer. She screamed, realized it was dead and then had to get the nerve to get rid of it. A few days after that, I was cleaning and washing clothes. I took the clothes out of the washer and a lizard was in the washer and it was ALIVE. I threw a pair of Mike's pants in the wash and turned it on. I guess I thought if it was squished it could go all over his pants. It did kill the little creature and Mike had to get his pants and it out of the washer (I did rewash his pants!). This week, I was washing clothes and there was a "stick" on the agitator. I lifted it off to throw it away and it began to move. It got thrown to the floor and stepped on (it was a worm).

I have just about come to the conclusion that it might be better of someone else does the laundry!!!!!!!!!!!!